You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life. - Emo Philips. View more images...

I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks. - Emo Philips. View more images...

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. - Emo Philips. View more images...