When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'. - Erma Bombeck. View more images...

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. - Erma Bombeck. View more images...

I haven't trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I've never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex. - Erma Bombeck. View more images...

You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates. - Erma Bombeck. View more images...

If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits? - Erma Bombeck. View more images...

I've decided life is too fragile to finish a book I dislike just because it cost $16.95 and everyone else loved it. Or eat a fried egg with a broken yolk (which I hate) when the dog would leap over the St. Louis Arch for it. - Erma Bombeck. View more images...

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is. - Erma Bombeck. View more images...

Children make your life important. - Erma Bombeck. View more images...