The last time I saw him he was walking down Lover's Lane holding his own hand. - Fred Allen. View more images...

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide nothing can be done. - Fred Allen. View more images...

Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you. - Fred Allen. View more images...

When you get through all the phony tinsel of Hollywood, you find the genuine tinsel underneath. - Fred Allen. View more images...

California is a fine place to live -- if you happen to be an orange. - Fred Allen. View more images...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. - Fred Allen. View more images...

An actor's popularity is fleeting. His success has the life expectancy of a small boy who is about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match. - Fred Allen. View more images...

The world is a grindstone and life is your nose. - Fred Allen. View more images...

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. - Fred Allen. View more images...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - Fred Allen. View more images...