You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. - Henny Youngman. View more images...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. - Henny Youngman. View more images...

He doesn't get ulcers - he gives them. - Henny Youngman. View more images...